When you are new to picking up women you will probably have some approach anxiety, unless you have been a natural playboy from a young age.
Learning to pick up women is little bit like learning to ride a bicycle. It is all about letting your body and mind get in touch with new physical and mental behaviors through constant repetition.
Your mind and body face new mindsets, postures, and gestures they are not used to. Because of this, if you are new to the world of picking up women it is better to “start small,” and let your mind and body slowly adapt to these new situations.
For this reason, it may be useful to learn about these three mental zones:
– The comfort zone: what you feel comfortable doing
– The stretch zone: what creates a “little bit of distress” in you
– The panic zone: what gets you into a deep fear or panic
The correct learning curve can be achieved by putting yourself out into the stretch zone in small increments, before you get into the panic zone.
For example, if walking in a place filled with beautiful women gets you into the panic zone, then visit spaces where you know you can find women alone, and only then slowly get into more crowded places, until you feel comfortable with it.
Never allow yourself to go straight into the panic zone: it demotivates you and makes you step back from the game.
Exercises:
– Coach yourself to walk in places where you know you can meet women very slowly. Deliberately reduce the speed. There are two main reasons for doing this. If you go fast, you can’t really pay attention to your surroundings, and pickups are all about paying attention to what is around you. Additionally, walking and doing things slowly makes the people around you feel you are a man of higher value. Being in a rush is a sign of lower value.
– Coach yourself to talk slowly, and consciously reduce the speed of your talking. Talking fast is a sign of insecurity. Taking your time and talking slowly is a sign of higher value.
– Walk down the street very slowly from time to time. When you see a beautiful woman slowly turn your head, hold eye contact for a moment, and then smile. Coach yourself to pay attention to her reactions: some will smile back, some will blush, some will turn their heads away, and some will look down. The ones who turn away are not interested. The ones who blush or feel uneasy may have your same problem, a lack of experience in meeting people. Focus on the ones who look down and blush, or show any other signs of emotional shaking. These are the ones who like you and would respond well to your approach.
– Repeat the former exercises several times, and when you are comfortable with them, begin to smile at women on the street in the same way. Don´t pay any attention to the ones who turn their faces away. Instead, coach yourself to warmly say“Hi” to those who blush, look down, and to the ones who greet you back. Simply forget the ones who do not react, and withdraw contact so you can focus only on the ones who respond positively. A wonderful thing you will learn when practicing pickups and seduction is the importance of always focusing on the positive.
– When you can do all of the above, and feel comfortable doing it, then you can begin to use some kind of opener.